


Lest We Die Unbloomed

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 8th year, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Honesty, M/M, Or at least I tried anyway, Smut, Trauma from the war, but not bad, harry and draco love each other, thats it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-07 23:22:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6829543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Back at Hogwarts for their eighth year of school, the students are assigned an end of the year essay. The essay is to be about their time at Hogwarts, reflecting on what's happened to them there. It's not to be graded, but more of a way to talk about the war for those who have a hard time talking about it in person. Harry isn't sure what he wants to write about and Draco Malfoy has a secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lest We Die Unbloomed

**Author's Note:**

> Title is taken from the movie 'Kill Your Darlings' and so are the titles of the chapters.
> 
> This is my first fic so I really hope it's not too bad. Any mistakes are my own since I didn't have anyone beta it.

**January.**

 

'Name one thing that changes people.'

 

The question to answer with his end of year essay and Harry Potter has no idea what to put. A lot of things change people; war, death, salvation, love, anger, forgiveness. The list is endless.

 

The assignment was not due for another six months, but Harry couldn't stop thinking about it. How was he able to put only one thing, if all of those things could change someone? Was he supposed to choose the one that changed someone most? Or was he supposed to make it personal? If that was the case, he was still unable to choose only one.

 

“Remember, this will be the last thing you turn in here at Hogwarts. Don't think too much on it, just write what you feel. Write about your own personal experiences here at school.” Flitwick spoke out from the front of the Charms classroom. The students were instructed to write an essay on their life at Hogwarts. Doesn't have to be about everything that's happened to them there, but whichever memory they feel most strongly about. “I know last year was a difficult time and though the war may be over, it's still happening for a lot of people. Lives were lost and nightmares may remain, but it will heal in time. A lot of essay's will probably be about it so just know that it's okay to be honest in your writing. Nobody will be reading it aside from me unless you wish to share at the end of the year. Free range writing is often the best form of writing because you're able to freely express yourself and be open, let your heart do the writing. It won't be graded so don't worry if you feel its not a sufficient memory compared to what someone else may be writing about. Just don't forget to answer the question at the end of your essay.” Flitwick was only having the essay because he could tell a lot of his students were still struggling (as expected, of course) and the Headmistress found that it was a good idea, encouraging it.

 

Charms class ended with a bang. Wheels turning in everyone's heads as they thought hard about what they should write about. Nobody's experience in the war was the same, yet they all shared common factors; loss, fear, devastation, bravery.

 

Loss for the ones they loved that didn't make it to see they had won. Severus Snape, Fred Weasley, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Colin Creevey, Lavender Brown; each fought and died for the outcome of winning and never got the chance to celebrate.

 

Fear for the survivors and fear for their own lives. Those who survived likely had nightmares like Harry. The monumental amount of fear that was in everyone's body that day, wondering if they would live to see their families or to grow up and find someone to love or to simply live to tell the tale. Will those who survived be able to hear a loud thud without jumping? Will they ever be able to have one day without thinking of the time their school was attacked? Where they watched classmates get slaughtered?

 

Devastation for the amount of families ripped apart, for their school and home for the last years of their life. Memories can fade, but not quick enough.

 

And Bravery. Fighting for their loved ones, fighting for their friends and strangers alike, fighting for good and peace that will soon come, fighting for the right to live freely without worry or care if a Dark Lord will come demolish their homes in the middle of the night. Fighting was the right choice even if it was hard with a long lasting impact.

 

 

Things will probably never be the same, but it was an inevitable start to the road for happiness.

 

“I think this essay will be a good thing. Sort of like a shrink, really, without having to actually tell it face to face.” Hermione says on the way out of class, already having an idea of what to put. What really stuck out to her about the entire war.

 

“Yeah, just another thing to make me think about Fred when I don't want to. Good idea, definitely.” Ron was still having trouble thinking about what happened after escaping the fire in the Room of Requirement. Fred's body slumped up against the wall, Percy clinging onto him. The image never really goes away for him. It was the first time that he's said Fred's name since it happened, too. Hermione had been trying to get him to talk, but he would always change the topic of conversation or suddenly remember he had something else to do. The Summer after was second worst, right after Christmas last month.

 

She gave him a small squeeze of the hand, fingers intertwined down the hall to their next class. Flitwick probably wasn't trying to make their entire day ruined with even more memories of everything, but Harry somewhat felt it was his fault that Ron was now dragging his feet.

 

“Well, I think Hermione may be right. Nobody is going to read it besides him and maybe it would be a good relief if you talked about it and it isn't going to be graded so even if you don't want to talk about it, you can just probably write 'I don't want to talk about it' and you'll be fine.” he adds, hoping to encourage Ron to talk about it.

 

Talking about things is good. Sometimes.

 

Harry didn't really talk about what happened either, but he knew he should probably start. He just didn't know where to begin. Maybe with the beginning when he found out about the prophecy, go on into the Horcruxes and just dive into it that way. It would certainly be a good read, but he wasn't sure if would be able to write about those things just yet. Not because of the attention it would get if someone were to get their hands on it, but because it would make the wounds reopen and Harry really didn't want to relive those moments. Sure, it ended up with Voldemort being destroyed at last, but the memories were too knife sharp and Harry hated being sliced up.

 

The eighth years at Hogwarts were the ones who wanted to come back and continue what they couldn't last year. Not many chose to come back, but the ones who did were all grouped together. Slytherins, Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, and Ravenclaws were all now in one dormitory instead of four separate ones and it wasn't as bad as anyone would've thought it would be. Perhaps the war made the rivalries disappear for good, showing that you have to unify to come out on top. The Slytherins and Gryffindors even played Exploding Snap and Wizard's Chess together without hexes being thrown across the common room.

 

The renovations done to the school over the Summer had included a new wing to the school. A staircase was added on the fourth floor that took you up to the eighth years common room, another added space to the school. The painting was of none other than Severus Snape and it was utterly annoying when he commented on what you were talking about or who you came into the common room with.

 

The room was covered in colors of scarlet and gold, green and silver, yellow and black, and blue and bronze, combining the house colors into a rather beautiful shared space. The fireplace sat in the back corner, couches and bean bags around it, shelves of photos of their lost ones, and by the door to leave hangs a quote that everyone's attention had focused on when they first stepped into their new common room.

 

_'You become indestructible not when you have power, but when you have love'_

 

Harry figures that Dumbledore had said it before, but there was no way of knowing. It was definitely Dumbledore-like advice though.

 

From then on, everyone had tried to get along within the four houses living together. Even Draco Malfoy had stopped being a prat and decided to live by the quote. Though something was still up with him. Or, at least Harry thinks so anyway. His friends Blaise and Pansy were definitely a little less mellow than Draco was, but even then, something was still not right with him. It was like he was dead, but just alive enough to be there. The few times Harry and Draco spoke since being roomed together had consisted of little thank you's when one held the door open for the other or if one had to borrow some ink for class. It didn't usually go beyond that, but they were friendly nonetheless. Hermione claims that he's just still dealing with the aftermath of everything and that maybe he feels like he shouldn't be there at school after what he did.

 

Ron agrees every time she brings it up and it results in him getting smacked.

 

“Seriously, Ron!” she would scold him, “He's hurt by the war, too. Don't forget that he saved us at the manor last year when he could've very well turned us in and let them call Voldemort right away!” Which, yes, she had a point. But, Harry still thinks its more than the war that's wrong with Draco Malfoy.

 

Speaking of which, that's the first person Harry sees when they walk into their next class of Transfiguration. Professor McGonagall was now headmistress, but she also insisted on staying the Transfiguration teacher as well as the head of Gryffindor house.

 

When the trio walked past Draco to get to their seat, Harry recognized a smell on him, but couldn't exactly pin point where he had smelt it before. “Do you smell that?” Harry asks Ron who shook his head, looking at him as if he were insane. “I don't smell anything, mate.”

 

Maybe he was just imagining things, but it was like a bitter sort of smell. He couldn't really explain it and the way Ron was looking at him made him think it better not to even try.

 

“Alright, everyone settle down.” McGonagall spoke once everyone was seated, Harry's eyes glancing back towards Draco. He wasn't talking with his group of friends who were so obviously in deep conversation. “I've brought out some muggle items that we will be transforming today.” she explains, emptying a box and revealing some key chains, a rubber duck, photo frame, alarm clock, hammer, hand held fan, and some VHS tapes that Harry always saw at the Dursley's. With a flick of her wand, everyone had an item on the desk in front of them. They didn't usually work with muggle items so this would probably be a little harder than they were anticipating.

 

“Now, a few of you may already know what these items are, but for those who don't, it's not necessary to-” she began, cut off by Neville making his alarm clock go off. “How do you shut it off?” he mumbles out with wide eyes, looking all around the round clock, pressing lots of the buttons. A few people giggled at the outburst and noise, but McGonagall wasn't happy as she walked over and pressed the only button that Neville never pushed.

 

“Like I was saying, It's not necessary to know what the items are, but just know they are muggle items and will be trickier to transform.”

 

Harry had managed to halfway transform his key chain into a Caterpillar and Ron was the same, except he transformed the rubber duck into a bird. The body of the bird was flapping its wings, but the head of the bird was that of the rubber duck. It took everything Harry had not to burst out laughing. Hermione, on the other hand, managed to transform her photo frame into a snake without any problems. She wasn't the only one who succeeded though. Draco had gotten his VHS tape to transform nicely into a plant. “Nicely done, Mr. Malfoy and Ms. Granger. Excellent work! Ten points to Slytherin and Gryffindor.” McGonagall walked around more, seeing how everyone did when she stopped in front of Ron and Harry. “Mr. Weasley, I'm rather afraid of your work.” She gave a tight lipped smile, doing a double take at both of their transformations before walking away. “Honestly, you two helped save the Wizarding World by defeating You-Know-Who and you can't even transform a key chain or a child's toy duck?” Hermione laughed at them, rolling her eyes.

 

At least they knew of one thing that didn't change. Hermione was still better than them at every class.

 

By the time lunch rolled around, Ron was pretty much back to normal. Anyone could tell that he was still upset over the essay, but he was at least laughing now. In the Great Hall, the eighth years didn't sit with their houses. Another table was brought in and the four house tables were pushed back, still in horizontal direction, but the new table was vertical and placed below the platform where the teachers sit. They would be the only eighth year class ever so it was only cramped for the time being. Nobody really minded though considering they were the most helpful in the defeat last year. Harry looked down the table to see Draco and his friends talking lowly, Blaise looking concerned. He couldn't hear any part of the conversation, but it didn't look like a happy one. “Harry? Hello?” Ginny says from the seat next to him, sitting a hand on her boyfriend's lap. “Are you listening to me?” she laughs.

 

“Sorry, what?” Harry looks over to see her grinning.

 

“I asked if you wanted to go flying later, but I guess Malfoy is more important.” she teases, looking away from him and over to the blonde Slytherin boy.

 

“Oh, no, sorry. I was just lost in thought.” he lies, thinking he could just claim he was thinking of a gift for their one year anniversary. It was coming up soon and it wouldn't be a lie if he said that he wasn't sure what to get her. “Something wrong?” her voice full of concern.

 

“No, really was just thinking. It's about your anniversary gift so I can't tell you.” he smiles, giving her a kiss. Across from them, Ron gagged on his food. “Really? I'm trying to eat and you're going to sit and snog my little sister right in front of me?” He wasn't mad or anything, but Ron still didn't like to see them snog. Them dating was a really great thing because he felt Harry was good for her, but his protective older brother instinct came out when they so much as held hands in front of him. Harry found it hilarious, but Ginny...

 

“Ron! For the last time, shut up about it! I don't care when you two snog in front of me just stop already!” she groaned out, picking up some chicken with her fork and angrily putting it in her mouth.

“And you,” she turns to Harry who was obviously trying not to laugh, “It's not funny! Do you really think its fair?”

 

Harry looked between his girlfriend and his best friend, unsure of what to say without accidentally choosing a side. “Um.” he muttered out before looking down at his plate and shoving a roll into his mouth. “It's good bread.”

 

Hermione snickered and took a drink of her water, letting Ginny and Ron hash it out themselves.

 

Later that night in the common room, Ginny and Harry were sat around the table by the fire on some bean bags while doing some homework. It was potions homework for Harry and Divination for Ginny, but the entire time, Harry just stared at his piece of parchment. He couldn't stop thinking about Malfoy, who apparently, was now just fine considering when Harry looked up at the sound of his laugh coming down from the dorms, he looked like normal. His face had a smile and he looked like carefree Draco Malfoy again.

 

At least the one before their sixth year at Hogwarts. That's when Harry could really pinpoint a difference in Malfoy's attitude and behavior. He supposes that's what Voldemort does to people who haven't had to worry about him for basically their whole life.

 

“Are you sure you're just thinking about the gift? You've been like that since lunch, Harry.” Ginny interrupts his thoughts, seeing he was looking at Malfoy again. “Did he do something? It has to do with him, doesn't it?”

 

Harry shook his head and sighed out to her, “I really am just thinking about the gift. Do you wanna go fly now? Curfew is soon, but we'll have time.” As long as Malfoy was fine now, maybe he could get over his sudden interest in the boy's happiness. It was weird that he even cared though. He never has before, has he?

 

He and Ginny made their way down to the Quidditch field, changed into their uniforms so they didn't mess up their robes. Harry was only able to play Quidditch still because the Gryffindor team had refused to find another Seeker. The others in his year weren't so lucky because when the houses held try outs, they had to compete with everyone else in finding one. Harry wasn't able to be captain anymore since he technically wasn't even supposed to be at school anymore, but he was grateful for the Seeker position again.

 

Up in the air, he and Ginny passed the Quaffle around and he then realized why he wasn't a Chaser like Ginny was. He didn't like flying around and tossing a ball at the same time.

 

“You're horrible at this.” Ginny laughs as they fly down to get the Quaffle off of the ground where Harry had dropped it. “Hey! I'm a Seeker for a reason, alright?” he grins back at her, rolling his eyes as they land. “Credit given where its due though. I couldn't be a Chaser if I tried.”

 

“Sure you could. You've done way more difficult things.” _Like kill Voldemort._

 

 

Harry knew the words were lingering on her tongue, but he was grateful she didn't say them. Everyone seemed so interested in him saving everyone, but he didn't like talking about it. Any other time he failed at something, it was like someone brought that up to compare it to. Like they were using that as a reason of why he couldn't fail at anything ever again.

 

“I'm sorry.” Ginny suddenly said, taking his hand in her own. “I'm just proud of you either way and think you can do whatever you wanted to do if you really tried.”

 

He didn't reply to that because he knew it would start a fight. They'd fought more than usual lately and he was tired of it. Harry just nodded at her before grabbing the Quaffle and getting off his broom. “We should probably go, its getting late.”

 

“Did you and Ginny have fun, then?” Ron asked when he got back to the dorm.

 

Harry stripped from his Quidditch uniform and nodded his head, putting on some warm clothes that Mrs. Weasley had gotten him for Christmas to sleep in. “Yeah, never realized how hard being a Chaser was.”

 

At that, Draco snickered from across the room. He, Ron, Harry, and Blaise all shared a dorm and Ron hated it.“Potter, you started playing Seeker for the house team in our first year and you're going to tell me that you have a hard time being Chaser for fun? Please, you're just not interested in it because you played with Weasley's sister.”

 

And that was more like normal Malfoy. Harry was conflicted on whether or not he should let him continue on with it.

 

“Do you even hear yourself when you talk, Malfoy? Of course he wanted to play with Ginny, they're dating. Or are you too stupid to figure that out?” Ron speaks back before Harry could even think of what to say.

 

“It's bloody obvious they're dating when they fight like they do then snog two seconds later. Also obvious that Potter doesn't even like her.”

 

Blaise grabbed Draco's arm when he said that and gave him a look, “Go to bed, you git. Before you get in trouble.”

 

Harry looked over at Ron who was already staring at him and gave a clueless shrug. If Harry didn't know any better, he'd say that Malfoy definitely wasn't sober and Blaise was trying to stop him from saying something he would regret.

 

But, seeing as how you can't get alcohol from the house elves in the kitchen anymore, he didn't think that was it.

 

And Harry was perfectly happy with Ginny, thank you very much.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
